Capturing the Memories

Does anyone else get overwhelmed with trying to capture every memory?  Maybe it's a new mom/first-time parent thing?  But I feel like I can't put my camera down or step away from the baby book because I might forget to write something down.  The days go by so fast and Hannah is changing so much every day.  I always want to remember her just as she is now.  Since I can't slow down time, I feel like I need to capture it all!  What an overwhelming task!  Sometimes I feel like I can't even enjoy the here and now because I'm too busy trying to remember it...does that even make sense?

Maybe this all stems from my horrible long-term memory (and short-term for that matter).  For some reason I cannot remember much from my childhood or even my teenage years.  I barely remember even going to High School!  Yikes!  I guess in an attempt to not have the same thing happen to Hannah, I am overcompensating.

When I think about Hannah growing up, it makes me so sad.  I want her to always be my little baby.  As I picture her life flashing by, it breaks my heart!  SLOW DOWN!  I'm sure I am overreacting a bit, but you always hear how fast life goes when you have kids, so I just want to be sure to capture it all!

Losing the Baby Weight

This is me on the day I found out I was pregnant

















Here I am on the night I went in to be induced...Wow!
















Hannah is quickly approaching 3 months old (hard to believe!) and I am just beginning my quest to lose the baby weight.  During my pregnancy I gained an astonishing amount of weight (about 50 pounds).  I swore I would never be one of those pregnant ladies that gained that much weight...but low and behold, I was! haha  I determined that there is very little a woman can do to control her weight gain during pregnancy.  Even though I was extremely sick during the entire first trimester and some of the second, I still managed to gain that much weight.  So, to all those pregnant ladies out there, don't beat yourself up about your weight gain.  Now, I don't condone eating bon-bons all day, but a few indulgences won't be the end of you. ;-)  So, now that I have had 10 weeks or so to adjust to motherhood, it's time to get down to business.

Since I am still exclusively breastfeeding, I don't want to go too crazy.  I am still technically feeding 2 people.  ;-) Since having Hannah, I have lost about 40 pounds, so I only have 10 to go until I am at my pre-pregnancy weight.  However, I would ideally like to lose 15 more.  But it's not necessarily the number on the scale that I am concerned about...it's more my overall appearance.  Those that know me know that my problem area has always been my thighs and bottom, while my stomach was always relatively flat.  Well, those days are long gone! haha  Now I have both problem areas to deal with.  (And let's not mention the stretchmarks....any suggestions for those would be greatly appreciated!)

Starting about 1 week after Hannah was born, I started taking her on walks in the neighborhood.  I have not been as consistent as I would like, but at least it's a start.  I am not a gym person...tried to be for a little while, but it just isn't me.  Plus, now that I have Hannah in tow, the gym just won't work.  So, I am going to have to workout at home.  I have a Pilates dvd that I used to do a lot, so I am hoping to get back into that.  I also have the Jillian Michael's Wii game that is supposed to help, but I'm not really convinced.  I have an exercise ball and some light weights too.  Now all I need is the motivation!  Ugh...

The Grass Is Always Greener - Part 2

As I thought more about my post from the other day, I started to feel bad about it.  I didn't realize at the time how ungrateful it made me sound.  There was a time, not too long ago, that I would have given anything to be pregnant.  I remember saying that I would rather be barfing everyday than not, if that meant I was going to be a mother.  Then, I go and write a post saying how awful pregnancy and labor were...how hypocritical!  If I had read a post like mine when we were trying to conceive, I would have been in tears!  My heart would have broken and I would have said, "Shut up!  At least you were able to get pregnant and have a baby!"  I distinctly remember thinking those things when I would hear other women complain about their pregnancies.  Then, I turned into one of those women I despised.

If you have ever gone through a time of waiting in your life (for a spouse, for a child, for a job, for a home, for a clean bill of health, etc.) then you can relate to what I am saying.  While in the midst of the waiting, you are desperate to get whatever it is you are waiting for.  You pray daily for that thing and wait as patiently as possible for your prayers to be answered.  The waiting is so hard and some days it feels like you just can't do it anymore.  You want to give up, but you know that you can't.  Then, when the Lord answers your prayers and blesses you with whatever it is you have been waiting for, you are overwhelmed with thankfulness.  All that waiting has finally payed off.

But then, you suddenly get so wrapped up in the moment and your new life (marriage, pregnancy, parenthood, a new career, a new house, your health, etc.) that you often forget what life was like before.  You forget the pain of the waiting and the hours of pleading with the Lord.  Our minds so easily forget.

Lord, forgive me for being so caught up in the moment (of pregnancy, of labor, of parenthood) and so easily forgetting what a blessing my pregnancy was.  I am so undeserving of the grace you give me.  The pain of waiting for our little miracle baby was excruciating.  How could I so easily forget that?  I had no right to complain during my pregnancy...I wanted that more than anything else...you gave me exactly what I asked for.  My pregnancy was a blessing!  My labor (no matter how painful) was a blessing!  And Hannah is a blessing!  Let me not forget that.  Thank you for the endless blessings in my life...I am so unworthy!

World's Best Daddy

Everyone so often focuses on what a great job mom is doing with her new baby, but what about dad?  I understand that not all men are born to be dads, but my husband was!  Brian is an amazing father...Hannah is so blessed!  I knew Brian would be a great dad before I even became pregnant.  To be able to withstand 2 years of trying to conceive (okay, I realize that trying to conceive isn't too tough on a man! haha), to endure my horrible pregnancy (countless nights of me waking him up, asking him to get me something to eat or drink), to be by my side the entire time I labored naturally (he didn't sit down all day!), and now to be willing and eager to take care of Hannah whenever he can.  What more could I ask for?

In the hospital, when I was recovering, Brian changed every single diaper, swaddled Hannah every time, rocked her when she was fussy, took her back and forth to the nursery so I could attempt to sleep, and was my rock emotionally.  He did all that without one complaint!  I don't even remember him saying that he was tired (which, if you know Brian, is very unlike him).  I don't know how I could have managed without him!  I couldn't even get out of the bed without help (so much for a natural labor being so easy to bounce back from).

But even more important than all the physical stuff he does for me and Hannah, it is the love that I see in his eyes that gets me every time!  He is SO in love with his little girl.  He can't wait to get home from work just to spend a few hours with her.

I am so blessed and so thankful.  The Lord obviously hand-picked Brian to be my husband!  He knew what He was doing!

So, if you have a husband that is just as great as mine, go thank him.  He deserves it!

The Grass is Always Greener...Well, Sometimes!

Today I was reminiscing about my pregnancy.  I was thinking about how it felt to have Hannah inside me and to be oohed and ahhed over by friends, family, and strangers.  Then I started to remember how it felt to be pregnant...the nausea, the heartburn, the nausea, the exhaustion, the fear of an approaching labor, the nausea....and did I mention the nausea?!  UGH!  I don't miss that one bit.  I remember at the end of my pregnancy (40+ weeks) when I was SO ready to have Hannah.  I was still struggling with the emotions of what life would be like after she came, but ultimately I was ready to have my body back. (Little did I know that having my "body back" would never happen...can we say stretch marks, saggy skin, and a nursing baby!)  I remember talking to several moms who kept telling me to enjoy the quiet and the last few days of freedom before baby.  I remember thinking...whatever...get this baby out of me! haha  It can't be that bad with a baby!?  Well, looking back I really don't miss being pregnant at all.  There are definitely days that I miss being able to jump in the car and go shopping or out to lunch with a friend, without having to plan the outings around feedings and naps.  And I miss being able to relax whenever I want or being able to watch my favorite afternoon tv shows (Ellen anyone?!)  But ultimately I don't miss the actual pregnancy.  Yes, feeling her kick and hiccup was fun and exciting and dreaming about what she would look like was great.  But that's about it.  I don't miss the endless visits to the toilet where the vomit would splash in my face - everytime!  (I never did come up with a solution to that problem...well, I did figure out that the kitchen sink was a pretty good puke place too)  I don't miss having to sleep propped up on a bunch of pillows because of the horrible burning in my throat.  I don't miss waking up a billion times in the night to pee or just from the pain of horrible heartburn.  And most of all I don't miss the extreme pain of a natural labor!  OUCH! 

So, all that being said...I am SO happy that I endured the miseries of pregnancy in order to have Hannah in our lives.  But I'm not in any rush to do it again! ;-)

Too little....too late!

It's 4:30pm and I have accomplished nothing with my day.  The life of a stay-at-home mom is a whirlwind.  Where does my day go?  One would think that with a newborn (well, 9 week old to be exact) you would have at least some time during the day to accomplish something...but one would be wrong. haha  The times that I do have to "myself" are usually not to "myself" at all.  The moment I sit down to read or check e-mail, the crying begins, or the dog needs to go out, or the doorbell rings, or the phone rings, or the washing machine beeps, or the dishwasher is finished, or I remember that I haven't planned anything for dinner...the list goes on.  When I finally manage to find a minute to sit down and "rest" I am exhausted!  Who has time to clean or cook a five-course meal?  Not me!

Here is what I have accomplished with my day so far...

1. Fed Hannah 3 times (6am, 10am, and 1:30pm)
2. Changed a bunch of diapers
3. Dressed Hannah and myself
4. Organized Hannah's closet..That was a major accomplishment for the day!
5. Planned dinner (grilled chicken, nothing at all fancy)
6. Spent some time in the Word (although it was interrupted several times by a crying baby)
7. Talked to my mom on the phone for a few mintues
8. Put the dog out (not even enough time to actually take her out...just hung her leash out the front door and let her roam around out there)

That's it!  Haven't touched the mountain of laundry or the pile of dishes.  Haven't picked up the mess that has acquired in the living room.  Haven't unpacked from our Mother's Day weekend trip (two weekends ago!).  Haven't even fed the poor dog yet!  Good grief....MUST feed the dog!

Enough procrastinating!  Hannah is sleeping (and should be for the next hour or so) so I must go get something accomplished with my day.  Maybe I will make a cup of coffee first!  :-)

Why we do Cry It Out...

 

Why do we let Hannah Cry It Out for naps and bedtime?  This is a question I found myself asking today, when she was having a very rough nap!  She has been doing SO well with naps and bedtime lately, that I just wasn't used to hearing her cry for so long anymore.  It started last night when she woke up early (3:30am instead of 6am) and then for her nap this afternoon, she has been really struggling to fall asleep and stay asleep.  In moments like this, I get very flustered and wonder why on earth am I doing this?  This is HARD!  So, in an effort to remind myself and to share with others, I decided to write this post about why we are doing the cry it out method....

Listening to my baby cry is one of the hardest things I have ever done!  But don't confuse hard with wrong.  Just because it's hard, doesn't mean it is wrong!  There are lots of things in life that are hard work, but in the long run cause great benefits!  For example, working out is hard work!  But in the long run we are better off for having worked out.  Cooking healthy meals is hard work, but in the long run it pays to eat healthy.  Pregnancy and labor are hard!!  (VERY hard!)  But the end result is miraculous and SO worth it!  Keeping a clean house is hard work too...but doesn't it feel good when it's done!?  The best things in life aren't easy...they are hard!!

Another reason we do the cry it out method is because of our faith.  We believe that as parents we are called to raise our children in a Godly manner and follow Christ's lead in our parenting.  God doesn't coddle us...yes, He loves us unconditionally, but that doesn't mean that He always gives us the easy road.  We face circumstances in life that are very difficult (illness, infertility, death of a loved one, financial struggles, etc.) but when we look back at those difficult times we see how God used them to make us stronger.  We realize that the bad experience brought us closer to God and taught us things we would never have learned otherwise.  God sets boundaries in our lives, just as we must do for our children.  He leads us in the right direction...He doesn't wait for us to tell Him what we need or what we want to do.  We have no idea what His plans are for our lives...we must rely on Him for guidance.  This is true for our relationship with the Lord and for our role as parents.

Although listening to my baby girl cry herself to sleep is extremely difficult, I know that in the long run it will pay off!  She will become a better sleeper, which will make her more alert during her awake time and feeding time, causing her to thrive and grow in a healthy manner.  We are teaching our baby to fall asleep on her own so that she can become independent someday.  We must teach her to do this at some point in her life, so why not now?

Parenting is not as easy task!!