Infertility

For those that know me, you know that we struggled with infertility for 2 years before becoming pregnant with our little peanut.  Those two years were some of the hardest we have ever gone through and the pain of infertility is not easily forgotten.  I know many couples that have struggled in the same way and some have a much harder road then we ever did.  My heart aches for those that are still trying.  I feel so overwhelmingly blessed to now have our little peanut, but I remember very well the pain of wanting and waiting!  Just because we are no longer dealing with infertility, doesn't mean that I can't relate to or understand the pain of those still struggling.  I find myself complaining about my present circumstances (life with a baby is tough too) but then I see something like the following video and am quickly reminded of how hard the infertility battle is! 

For anyone that has dealt with or is dealing with infertility...get the tissues ready for this one....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

God has a perfect plan!  He really does!  And I know how hard it is to see that in the midst of the struggle.  But I am living proof that God's plan truly is the best!  He hears your prayers and sees your tears.  He will provide!

Every 2 Weeks

I have decided that parenthood's ups and downs happen in two week cycles.  For two weeks things will go great and then it's like a switch flips and then for the next two weeks you are pulling your hair out.  Then things go back to being great.  This may not prove true for everyone, but it does for us.  Some of you are blessed with an "angel" baby and things have been relatively great since the beginning while others have a bit of a challenge on their hands.  It is so easy to become overwhelmed and frustrated when baby doesn't sleep or eat well, but if I continue to remind myself that this is just a phase and things will get better, it makes it easier to deal with.

For example,  when we switched Hannah's schedule to more of a 'Babywise' approach, things were great right away!  She started sleeping 10-12 hours through the night and napping 3 times per day for at least an hour each time.  I kept a very detailed log of our entire day so I could see the patterns and what worked and what didn't.  For about 2 weeks, things were going GREAT!  I spoke the praises of 'Babywise' and told everyone I knew that 'Babywise' was exactly what we needed.  Well, then things changed.  I didn't change anything with our schedule or routine, yet she stopped sleeping through the night and her naps became almost non-existent!  UGH!  What happened to our 'Babywise' cure all??  I had several break-downs and tried to figure out what was happening.  What was I do differently?  Was she sick?  What she teething?  What she going through a growth spurt?  Nothing I did seemed to solve the sleep problems.  So we are just dealing with it.  I continue to stick to the routine (as much as possible) and hope that things will click again.  I assume that by next week, she will be back to "normal" and things will be great again.  But in the meantime, we push on.  Today has been especially tough.  Hannah woke up two hours early, ate, and thankfully went right back to sleep for 2 more hours.  But then the rest of the day was completely off!  She didn't take her morning nap at all (after letting her cry it out for an hour, I gave up).  Then she only took a 30 minute afternoon nap (again, I let her cry it out for an hour when she woke up early...no luck).  Now she is down for her final nap of the day and thankfully has been sleeping for the last 20 minutes, but I'm sure it won't be long before I hear her crying again.  Oh the joys of parenthood! haha

So, what's my advice for those days and nights that are just completely crazy?  Keep trying!  Just chalk it up to a bad day (or week, or month) and move on.  Yes, you will be frustrated.  And yes, you will shed some tears.  But things will get better (eventually) and when they do, you will be that much more thankful.  Times like this remind me so much of our struggle with infertility!  While we tried to conceive for 2 years, deep down inside I knew it would eventually happen, but the waiting sure did stink!  I pleaded to the Lord and cried out to Him for strength.  It was the hardest thing I had ever gone through.  But the Lord was faithful!  He heard my cries and He blessed us with our sweet little peanut.  The same was true with my horrible morning sickness during pregnancy and my extremely painful labor.  And it's still true today!  God is always faithful!  He will always bring you out of the darkness and show you His mercy!  But sometimes we have to endure the tough times to get there.  And when we do, the good times are that much sweeter!

So press on.  Don't get completely obsessed with the "little" things that go wrong every day.  Focus on the good times and the many blessings in your life.  And know that God will be faithful and will bring you brighter days!

That's my sermon for the day! ;-)  I needed to hear that more than anyone!

6 Months

Little Peanut,

Today is your half birthday!  Are you kidding me?  How can you possibly be 6 months old already?  Your 6th month has been filled with ups and downs....mostly ups!  You are full of life and such a happy girl!  You are getting so mobile and want nothing more than to be able to move.  You lay on your tummy and kick your hands and feet in hopes of being able to propel yourself across the room....soon my little peanut, soon!  Your personality is starting to shine through and you are a ham! ;-)  You LOVE being around people (such a social butterfly) and love attention!  You have even started smiling every time the camera is pointed in your face (which is a lot!)...future model?  We are so in love with you and can't even remember life before you...who wants to?!

• You weigh 18 lbs. 5 oz. and are 26.5 inches tall!  SO big!!
• Still no teeth or really any signs of teeth...but you do drool like crazy and put everything in your mouth! 
• You love to ride in the front of the shopping cart, sitting up like a big girl.
• You sat in a highchair at a restaurant for the first time the other night.  You loved it! 
• You still love bath time and now sit up in the tub instead of laying down.  You love being able to play with your toys, but mostly you just love the water.
• You haven't said very many consonant sounds yet, but you do like to "talk".  Lots of "oohs" and "ahhs" and high-pitched screams (thankfully they are very soft though).
• Everything you see, you pick up and put in your mouth...everything! 
• You are ticklish under your arms and giggle all the time now.  Sometimes I can just look at you and you crack up! :-)
• You sit up all by yourself and never fall over....well, unless you get really curious and try to turn all the way around to see something behind you ;-)
• You roll all over the place now and can spin yourself around in any direction you wish.  But you also still love to "fly" on your tummy (arms and legs up in the air, kicking away).
• You know your name and turn towards us when we call you
• You love everyone!  So far, you have no signs of separation anxiety and are more than willing to share your beautiful smile with everyone you see.
• You are nursing 4 times per day (8am, 12pm, 4pm, 7:30pm) and eating solids 3 times per day (8am, 12pm, 4pm).  You were eating all kinds of foods, but then had a horrible case of constipation, so we stopped all solids for a few days.  Then we started again, but very slowly.  All you are eating now is pears, carrots, oatmeal, and sweet potatoes.  But so far, you love everything we give you!  You are now even faster at nursing (only 5 minutes per side!)
• We have been working on highchair manners a lot this month.  I am teaching you a few words in sign language ("please", "all done", "more" and "thank you") and teaching you how to keep your hands on the tray while I feed you.  So far you have done GREAT with that and we have avoided messes at meal time, so far.
• You are wearing size 3 diapers now.
• You wear 6 month (3-6 months) clothes now and some 9 month (6-9 months) clothes fit you too.  I have finally packed away all your 3 month stuff!
• Your sleeping is getting so much better (although you still have your bad days - and nights).  Most of the time you are sleeping through the night (10-12 hours) and napping 3 times per day.  Bedtime is still a struggle most nights, but there are those occasional nights where you fall right to sleep without a peep (like tonight!)  Your schedule right now looks like this:
• 8am - Wake, eat (nurse and solids), play
• 9 or 10am - Nap
• 10 or 11am - Wake, play
• 12pm - Eat (nurse and solids), play
• 1pm - Nap
• 3pm - Wake, play
• 4pm - Eat, play
• 5pm - Nap
• 6pm - Wake, family dinner time, play
• 7pm - Bedtime routine (bath, pjs, nurse, bible, prayers)
• 8pm - In bed

 
Today also marks 6 months of nursing for us.  From the beginning it was always my goal to try to nurse you for at least 6 months.  And here we are, going strong!  I have no plans on stopping anytime soon. 

It's amazing how fast time flies...it's already been half a year!  Before we know it you will be walking and talking!  Oh my!  There are so many things that I don't want to forget about how you are at this exact moment.  You are just so precious!  I don't want to forget the sound of your sweet giggle, the noises you make while nursing, how you get so talkative right before bedtime, and how every time I go in to get you out of bed, you have the biggest smile on your face!

We love you so much little peanut!  More than you'll ever know!