Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Crying It Out

Crying it out isn't for the weak!  We have started letting Hannah cry when she goes down for a nap and at bedtime.  It has been tough!!  We had gone back and forth for a few weeks about what we should do as far as sleeping goes.  For the first week or two she was an amazing sleeper, sleeping through the night (7 hours) at just five days old.  But at around week 3, everything changed!  Our sleepy little baby suddenly woke up to the world and decided that she didn't like to sleep.  She was still giving us good sleep at night, once she fell asleep, but it would sometimes take hours to get her to doze off.  UGH!  So at 5 weeks we decided it was time to let her cry it out.  No more going back and forth to comfort her and rock her and to give her the paci.  It was time...for all of us!   I just didn't realize how extremely hard it was going to be to listen to my baby cry!  It truly hurts me to hear her scream!  There is something inate in a mother that makes us want to run to our crying baby and comfort them.  I have shed just as many tears throughout this process as Hannah has!  Some nights, the only way I can get through it is by going downstairs and watching tv or surfing the internet, just so I can't hear her.  Amazingly, Brian is able to sleep right through it!  That really baffles me!!

I know there are different schools of thought on letting a baby cry it out.  Some say that a 1 month old (or 5 week old in our case) is too young to self-soothe.  While others say that you should let them cry it out from day one.  So, what is the right way?  I spent hours trying to decide what we should do, talked to friends, read blogs, searched the internet, and talked to our pediatrician.  It seemed that the more research I did, the more I realized that it was time.  While there was still conflicting advice out there, the majority of what I found was that crying it out (under the supervision of watchful parents) is soemething you should do now, rather than later.  While not every baby needs to cry it out, if you have a baby with lots of energy and that fights sleep (like our little Hannah), crying is something that they need to do in order to release that energy. 

When we started on this cry it out journey, I started keeping track of each and every minute of crying and not crying so that I would know exactly how long she spent cried before falling asleep.  This has helped me so much!  It helps me to see just how long the crying has gone on (always much shorter than it feels!) and helps me to see the progress she is making (one step forward, two steps back at times).  So, I wanted to share our progress with you, just in case you were curious.  When I was doing my research I wished I had come across a website that gave me step by step instructions on how to implement crying it out, but I didn't.  So here you go!  I hope this helps someone!  I sit with a clock and the monitor while I write down the minutes and it really helps me to disconnect from her crying (surprisingly) to treat it like a project.  I turn the volume off on the monitor when she is crying and just watch the little lights until they stop.  Then I turn the volume back on so I know if she is making noises or silent.

Day 1 - April 15, 2010

Nap
  • Put Hannah down at 2:30pm (after a full feeding)
  • 5 minutes - crying
  • 6 minutes - no crying (noises)
  • 3 minutes - crying
  • 24 minutes - no crying (silent) YEAH!!
  • 3 minutes - crying
  • 27 minutes - no crying (selent) YEAH!!
  • 8 minutes - crying
  • Decided that she had done well enough for Day 1, so I brought her down to her swing and let her finish her nap there.  She slept until 6pm in the swing!
Bed
  • Put Hannah down at 10:09pm (after a full feeding)
  • 3 minutes - no crying (silent)
  • 9 minutes - crying
  • 37 minutes - no crying (silent)
  • 9 minutes - crying
  • Went in to comfort (this was a rookie mistake...I should not have done this...now you will see the rest of the night spiral out of control...opps!)
  • 5 minutes - no crying (silent)
  • 5 minutes - crying
  • Went back in to comfort (opps!)
  • 4 minutes - crying
  • Went back in to comfort (I melted down!  I even fed her again at this point, because I just didn't know what else to do.  Had I just left her alone from the beginning, she would have fallen asleep much faster!)
  • 2 minutes - no crying (noises)
  • 2 minutes - crying
  • Finally fell asleep at 12:13am and slept until 6am!
Day 2 - April 16, 2010

We were out and about during nap time today, so didn't put her down in her crib.

Bed
  • Put Hannah down at 9:35pm (after a full feeding)
  • 9 minutes - crying
  • Fell asleep at 9:44pm and slept until 3:30am (which is not normal for her, but I was thrilled and considered this a great accomplishment!)
  • Total amount of crying = 9 minutes :-)
Day 3 - April 17, 2010

Again, we were out and about during nap time, so we didn't put her down in her crib.

Bed
  • Put Hannah down at 11:08pm (after a full feeding)
  • 6 minutes - crying
  • 9 minutes - no crying (noises)
  • 1 minute - crying
  • Fell asleep at 11:24pm and slept until 5:30am  YEAH!!
  • Total amount of crying = 7 minutes
Day 4 - April 18, 2010

Nap
  • Put Hannah down at 3pm
  • 3 minutes - no crying (noises)
  • 3 minutes - crying
  • 7 minutes - no crying (noises)
  • 2 minutes - crying
  • 5 minutes - no crying (noises)
  • 3 minutes - crying
  • Fell asleep at 3:23pm and slept until 6pm
  • Total amount of crying = 8 minutes
Bed
  • Put Hannah down at 10:13pm
  • 9 minutes - crying
  • 1 minute - no crying
  • 3 minutes - crying
  • 5 minutes - no crying
  • 5 minutes - crying
  • 1 minute - no crying
  • 1 minute - crying
  • 25 minutes - no crying
  • 11 minutes - crying
  • 11 minutes - no crying
  • 6 minutes - crying
  • Fell asleep at 11:31pm and slept until 6am when I had to wake her up! 
  • Total amount of crying = 35 minutes (A tough night, but worth it in the end!)
Day 5 - April 19, 2010

Nap
  • Put Hannah down at 2:20pm
  • 4 minutes - no crying (noises)
  • 7 minutes - crying
  • 3 minutes - no crying
  • 1 minute - crying
  • Fell asleep at 2:35pm and slept until 5pm
  • I brought her down to her swing to finish her nap (until 6pm)
  • Total amount of crying = 8 minutes
Bed
  • Put Hannah down at 10:43pm
  • 3 minutes - no crying
  • 3 minutes - crying
  • 1 minute - no crying (noises)
  • 2 minutes - crying
  • 1 minute - no crying
  • 4 minutes - crying
  • 1 minute - no crying
  • 1 minute - crying
  • 1 minute - no crying
  • 2 minutes - crying
  • 1 minute - no crying
  • 1 minute - crying
  • 3 minutes - no crying
  • 3 minutes - crying
  • 28 minutes - no crying (finally alseep??)
  • 6 minutes - crying
  • Finally fell asleep at 11:44pm and slept until 6am when I woke her up
  • Total amount of crying = 22 minutes
Day 6 - April 20, 2010

Nap
  • Put Hannah down at 2:28pm
  • 6 minutes - crying
  • 5 minutes - no crying
  • 2 minutes - crying
  • 10 minutes - no crying
  • 1 minute - crying
  • Fell asleep at 2:53pm and is still sleeping (praying she stays asleep until 6pm!)

3 comments:

  1. It is so hard! I got some interesting comments when I was trying to do this with E. Ergh! Anyways, we got a video monitor with J but didnt have it with E. I love it! It helped with the whole process. Allowed me to see what she was doing during those quiet times. You're doing great!

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  2. Enjoyed your blog. I found it while looking for information on CIO. My 5 week old have been fighting sleep and not staying asleep and his ped. said to let him CIO. I thought he was too young but he says now is the time. I was looking for someone else's experience with a 5 week old. Any help would be great.

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  3. Thank you so much for this blog! I know it's old, but having a 4.5 week old that stays up constantly and will NOT sleep this has made me feel much better about letting him cry it out! Thank you!

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