Ready or not, here she comes!

We went in today for our final obgyn appointment.  I was feeling very rough this morning (extreme heartburn, nausea and was struggling to catch my breath) so we bumped my appointment up from 3:30pm to 11:30am.  I needed to get in there and talk to the midwife to figure out what was going on.  My blood pressure and weight were perfect and Emma's heartbeat was right on track.  She checked me and I was a loose 1cm, so she made me 2cm (OUCH!) and then had us come into her office to discuss our options.  She gave us a few options, with lots of factors to take into consideration.  These were our choices:

1. Induce on Friday (meaning we go in on Thursday night) with a midwife that we really like
2. Induce on Monday with a midwife that we aren't thrilled about
3. Induce on Tuesday with another midwife that we aren't thrilled about
4. Continue to wait it out for a few more days (they won't let me go past next Friday) and see if she comes on her own

The other factors that we have to take into consideration are the option of cervadil.  If I am further than 2cm then they will not do the cervadil and will wait until the morning to start pitocin.  The reasoning for this is that they don't want to risk the cervadil kick starting the labor and causing me to deliver the baby at 3 in the morning.  Since it is an elected induction they would rather make it convenient for themselves and not risk having to come in to the hospital in the middle of the night.  UGH!  I mean I get it, but it's so frustrating that they would not even allow the option of cervadil just because it doesn't work with their schedule.  With my last labor, I went in 3 days after my due date and was only 1cm at the time with no consistent contractions.  The inserted the cervadil around 10pm and my labor was in full force by 5am the next morning.  That allowed me to not need the next step - pitocin, which I was thrilled about since I was aiming to have an unmedicated delivery.  It worked out so perfectly as I never did need any other medical intervention and Hannah was delivered within 8 hours of active labor beginning.  Since it worked so well the first time, I am really hoping for a repeat with Emma! 

All that to say that if we wait until Monday or Tuesday to induce, we will most likely not have the option for cervadil because I will most likely already be 2-3cm and they will no longer administer it.  This would make pitocin a must which will then make my contractions much more painful, making an unmedicated birth more unlikely. 

Of course we would LOVE if Emma would come on her own but with my previous labor having to be induced and with my unfavorable cervix it just doesn't seem likely that she will come in the next few days on her own.  Also, let's not forget what an incredibly long journey this pregnancy has been.  Dealing with severe hyperemesis from week 5 until week 20+ was nearly more than I could bear.  After two week long hospital stays, countless anti-nausea drugs, a 24/7 medication pump, at home health care that consisted of 24/7 IV liquids for several weeks, and so much nausea and vomiting that I lost 23 pounds, this pregnancy has been more than rough!  While we are so thankful for the miracle of life that has been growing inside of me for the past 10 months, it has definitely come with its challenges.  I truly consider Emma to be our little miracle baby...she survived so much and fought through it with me.  Severe dehydration and malnutrition did not stop her from growing and fighting for her life.  She is my little fighter and I can't wait to meet her!  It is time for her to come out!

So after much discussion and prayer, we have decided to induce on Friday.  We will go in tomorrow night (sometime between 4pm and 8pm) and start the cervadil.  Our prayer is that the cervadil will be all that is needed to jump start my labor and that I will be able to have another unmedicated labor.  Of course our ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby and mommy and will do whatever it takes to get her here safely.

Tonight we were putting Hannah to bed and I got very emotional knowing that this would most likely be our last night putting Hannah to bed before Emma comes. (Of course that will depend on when they call us tomorrow night to come in).  While I am ready for Emma to arrive (as ready as I'll ever be) and ready to not be pregnant anymore, it is definitely a bittersweet event.  Knowing that our lives are about to change drastically is a bit overwhelming.  And knowing that Hannah will no longer be our "baby" just makes me sad.  I love her so much and struggle to imagine how I will love another baby as much. (Of course I know that this will not be an issue at all, but it's hard to imagine at this point).  Also knowing that I won't be able to give Hannah the undivided attention that she has had since she was born is hard.  (The one and only thing I am thankful for about my hyperemesis experience is that I do think it has prepared Hannah in some ways for not being the focus of my attention.  Being sick 24/7 for so long taught her to be pretty self-sufficient (for a two year old) and she is able to entertain herself very well at this point.)  Change is always difficult for me and I know that the hormones don't help at all.

Tomorrow will be our last day as a family of 3.  I'm hoping that we are able to squeeze in lots of snuggles and make a few memories with our precious baby girl before she becomes the big sister. 

Please pray for us as we begin this next chapter of our lives.  Pray for Emma to be healthy and for my labor to progress just as it should.  Pray for the ability to have an unmedicated delivery and for my recovery process to be easier than it was with Hannah.  Specifically pray that I will not need a catheter and will be able to pee on my own after delivery and that I will not have the huge blood clots that I had last time (scary!).  Pray for my hormones to not be too out of control in the first week or two of coming home.  Pray that Hannah would adjust well to her new role of big sister and that we would do everything we can to make her feel special and included.  We are so thankful for your prayers!